How to support a child or young person who is in counselling.
Louise Worrall 
This blog post was developed from a talk I gave on the same subject to the 2021 Mental Health & Wellbeing Show.
This blog post was developed from a talk I gave on the same subject to the 2021 Mental Health & Wellbeing Show (link to their website below).
#Flashback
Caption: https://www.mhwshow.co.uk/
We will look at one of the common questions parents ask when their child starts counselling; ‘What else can we do to support?’
Many parents have waited so long to receive support that it can be hard for them to stop trying to do everything they can to make sure their child will be okay. We’ll consider 5 things together that have come up time and time again in my experience counselling children, and going to counselling myself as a trainee and then after qualification.
1. What should I say?
Wait for them to take the lead! When we contract with people in counselling, we let them know that the sessions will be confidential, safeguarding exceptions included of course. This means they have the choice in what they choose to say.
Why not try?
Finding an activity where you can be in the same space but not have to talk e.g. cinema, creating some art together or a long walk.
2. The post-therapy feelings.
Some therapy sessions can feel like you’ve run a marathon with no training or preparation. Linking into the previous point, if you can schedule a child’s session before a break in the school day, or towards the end of the day and into a longer drive or an activity that doesn’t require much brainpower afterwards, they will be grateful.
3. What if they do want to share with me?
Take your time and take stock – are you ready to receive emotions right now? It’s okay if you’re not – if your child likes to write, or draw, when you are ready, you could send them a letter or drawing to reciprocate.
Why not try?
Saying: “It sounds like you’re ready to share – I might not know what to say, but I promise I’ll listen and be here with you while you do”.
4. Help! They’re just getting worse!
Wait… one of the most common things that I tell families and schools is that therapy can be a bit like needing to break a fever- sometimes because the internal processes are so strong and being worked on, the external behaviour may appear worse.
Why not try?
Celebrating any victory!
There will be growth, and if they can’t see it, maybe you can. If you can’t see it, take a mental note – how were they acting and behaving before they started counselling?
5. It’s a marathon, and not a sprint
When you’re feeling rubbish, it’s hard to remember good times. Maybe your loved one needs to know that your life has had ups and downs, or maybe they just need you to hold space and hope for them until they can again. Take their lead, love them always and lean into the hard times together, knowing this is only a temporary stop in your journey through life.
Why not try?
Making a ‘scrapbook of smiles’ – jokes you have shared, memories you have made, times you have laughed so much you have cried. This can be something you add to together, or you can save it for a time you feel it is needed you add to together, or you can save it for a time you feel it is needed.
Categories: Family, Mental Health, Popular